Even if you don’t see it clearly, childhood traumas follow us wherever we go.
And especially into our romantic relationships. Have you ever experienced that childhood traumas manifest in your romantic relationships? No wonder if yes.
We can’t escape it. It’s always there within, and we live with it. But there IS an escape from the childhood trauma loop. If you recognize those traumas, you can manage them!
You are in control, not your traumas. Don’t let them take over your life.
Some examples of how childhood trauma manifests in a romantic relationship:
1. Fear of abandonment
This fear usually comes from divorced families. If you’ve seen one of your parents move out, create a new family, or simply disappear you feel left out and forgotten. It can also come from losing someone special in your childhood years, someone you will never forget. In a romantic relationship, this history can transform into fear of abandonment. It can lead to numerous conflicts between you and your partner. You might feel threatened because you’re afraid of them leaving. Usually, we push our partners away when we need them most. Try to sort out your feelings. When you are not overwhelmed, talk with your partner about this fear and where it comes from. Talking about your experiences in childhood will improve your communication, and help your partner to understand what you feel.
2. Low self-esteem
In childhood, the environment we live in can either be supporting or damaging to our self-esteem. The results of hearing ‘you are not good enough’, or ‘you have to try harder’, or simply feeling that you’re a failure in your parents’ eyes are usually seen much later in life. Low self-esteem often comes from childhood, and it takes years to improve. You might find yourself in a vicious cycle of toxic relationships. On the surface, it seems to be okay, but deep down in your heart, you know there’s something fundamentally wrong. Don’t let anybody walk over you! If your self-esteem is low, it’s time to focus on YOU. You need an actionable plan, guidance, and support on the way. (LionHeart coaches support you through the process of regaining self-esteem, with actionable steps and support! can give you all that and even more).
Have you ever heard ‘Don’t do it’, ‘I don’t think you’ll make it’, and ‘You’re wasting your and my time’? If yes, it’s a big possibility that you’re highly introverted. Maybe your childhood environment didn’t let you express yourself, so you’ve closed yourself off. This results in introversion and poor communication in your romantic relationships. Seek professional help if you want to open up easier and faster.
4. Desire to be alone most of the time/ need a lot of ‘space’
Did your parents ever have fights in front of you? Did you shut your door so you could forget, and not see or hear anything? No child should have to live through that. If your parents’ response to conflicts was running away, you may find the same pattern in your relationships. If you wonder why you’re shutting down, wanting to be left alone with your thoughts and feelings… Your childhood may shed light on why you do that.
You can’t escape your traumas but you can always heal them, with the help of a professional. Seek help and you’ll get it! Remember that your traumas don’t define you.
You create your future.
P.S. If you need an urgent consultation you can always text us.
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